Progressive Thinking

Trump’s latest tariff tantrum proves once again that he’s steering America’s economy like a blindfolded man on a unicycle—on a tightrope—during an earthquake. And yes, he still insists he’s got it all under control.

LAKE GENEVA, WI - Let’s talk about the man who just assured America, “I know what the hell I’m doing”... right before proving the exact opposite. Donald J. Trump, the self-proclaimed mastermind of global economics, just pulled off one of the most breathtaking U-turns in trade policy history—and managed to look completely unhinged while doing it.

Here’s the rundown: On April 2, Trump rolled out his “Liberation Day” tariff plan, because of course he did—it sounds like something out of a bad dystopian sci-fi movie. Sweeping tariffs slapped on nearly every foreign good imaginable. The stock market responded by doing what it does when chaos is injected into the economy—it tanked. World leaders raised their eyebrows, economists screamed into the void, and even members of Trump’s own party started inching away from the flaming dumpster fire.

Still, there was Trump at a Republican dinner just days later, pounding his chest like a cartoon gorilla. “I know what the hell I’m doing,” he bellowed, while painting a fantasy picture of chip factories popping up like mushrooms in the rain. Maybe in his head, sure.

And then? Reality bit back.

On April 9, Europe slapped a 25% tariff on U.S. goods—everything from steel to ice cream. China cranked its own tariffs to a jaw-dropping 84%. What did Trump do? He blinked. Hard. Like a deer in headlights. He threw the whole tariff plan into a 90-day pause—for everyone except China, who he then decided to punish with an even more absurd 125% tax. Because if you’re already playing economic Russian roulette, why not spin the barrel again?

But wait—there’s more. When Americans worried about their crashing 401(k)s, Trump told them to stop being “Panicans.” Yes, Panicans. Apparently, that’s his new insult for people with functioning neurons. Weak! Stupid! Panican! It’s not clear whether he was naming a new political party or just inventing a word to distract from his epic failure.

Meanwhile, his sidekick J.D. Vance thought it’d be a great idea to call the Chinese people “peasants.” Because if there’s one thing you want during an international economic meltdown, it’s racist condescension from your second-in-command.

Let’s be blunt: Trump has no idea what the hell he’s doing. He’s playing global economic Jenga with greasy hands, and every block he pulls makes the whole tower wobble. His policies are chaotic, reactionary, and driven more by ego than any semblance of strategy. He talks big, blunders bigger, and then blames everyone else when his ideas implode like a wet paper bag in a hurricane.

And yet, somehow, we’re still supposed to believe he’s got this under control?

Sure. And I’m the Queen of Denmark.

Trump thinks yelling “America First” while nuking the global supply chain is somehow going to bring back the golden age of American manufacturing. That age is long gone.

LAKE GENEVA, WI - Today, Donald Trump stood at a podium, flapping his gums again about how everything is going to “boom.” The markets are going to boom. The economy is going to boom. The country? Oh, that’s going to boom too. And you know what? I actually agree with him—for once. Things are going to boom. Just not in the way he wants you to think.

I’m talking about the kind of boom that leaves a smoking crater where your savings used to be. The kind of boom that knocks you off your feet and leaves your ears ringing while you try to figure out what the hell just happened. The kind of boom where, when the dust settles, we’re all stuck sweeping up the shattered pieces of our bank accounts and wondering how we got conned into this mess. That’s the “boom” we’re in for.

What kicked it off? Trump’s bright idea to slap a 10% tariff on all imports, with even higher rates on countries like China, Mexico, and our European allies. You know, the people we actually rely on for trade. The very next thing that happened? The stock market tanked. Over 1,600 points dropped from the Dow like it got pushed off a cliff. That’s not booming—it’s detonating.

Tariffs are taxes. That’s Econ 101. But Trump either doesn’t know that or just doesn’t care. He thinks yelling “America First” while nuking the global supply chain is somehow going to bring back the golden age of American manufacturing. Meanwhile, the rest of us are stuck watching prices climb on everything from groceries to gadgets.

Experts are already warning that the average American household could see prices jump by nearly $4,000 a year. And when you factor in inflation creeping back up and potential job losses in industries that rely on imported goods? Buckle up. This isn’t just an economic misstep—it’s a full-scale policy explosion.

International response? You guessed it. Countries around the world are preparing to hit us right back. Trade wars don’t just pop up overnight, but Trump’s reckless, chest-thumping bravado is lighting the fuse. And guess who’s standing closest when it goes off? Yep. We are.

This isn’t leadership. It’s sabotage dressed up as strength. And Trump, with his gold-plated ego and zero grasp of economic reality, is grinning through it all like he just made a brilliant move on a game board he doesn’t even understand.

So yes, Donald. We’re going to boom. Like a bomb in the living room. Like an engine blowing out at 80 miles per hour. Like the bad decision it is.

And we’ll be the ones left crawling out of the rubble.

Summary:
Donald Trump says the economy is going to “boom”—and for once, he’s not wrong. But this isn’t the boom of prosperity he’s promising. It’s the kind of boom that leaves everyday Americans buried under debt, inflation, and economic wreckage. In this scathing opinion piece, Laura Kiefert dismantles Trump’s reckless tariff plan, exposing the real cost of his clueless economic bravado: soaring prices, crashing markets, and a trade war we can't afford. If this is his version of winning, we’re all screwed.