Trump’s $45-Million Birthday Parade Is the Most Expensive Midlife Crisis in U.S. History
On June 14, Donald Trump will throw himself a $45-million military-themed birthday party, paid for by American taxpayers. If you’ve ever wondered what it looks like when a narcissist uses a government like a mirror, this parade is it.
LAKE GENEVA, WI - Well folks, get ready to wave your tiny plastic flags and clap like trained seals, because this Saturday, June 14, the former President — turned current self-appointed Emperor of All That is Golden and Grifty — is throwing himself a $45-million birthday bash.
No, not with his own money. Don’t be ridiculous. That cash is safely tucked away in off-shore accounts, crypto wallets, and the pockets of MAGA fanatics who bought his snake oil. This little shindig? You are paying for it. Every firework, every boot-polished soldier, every flyover that rattles the windows — that’s your tax dollars at work, baby.
The man who once called military service “a sucker’s game” now wants soldiers to march in formation to honor... his birth. I guess when you’ve turned the presidency into a reality show, the only logical next step is turning the national budget into your birthday fund.
This isn’t just a party. It’s a state-sponsored ego massage. A massive parade of pomp and delusion, where military might is misused not to defend our country, but to prop up a 78-year-old man who still throws tantrums when the spotlight shifts off him for five minutes.
And let’s talk about why this is so dangerous.
Authoritarians throughout history have used military parades to flex power and instill fear. Stalin did it. Kim Jong-un still does it. And now, Donald Trump — who once hugged the flag like it was a stripper on a pole — is staging his own star-spangled homage to himself. Not to America. Not to freedom. To himself.
All this while he continues to peddle lies, grift millions off his cult followers through shady crypto ventures, and publicly fantasize about imprisoning his political opponents like it’s a segment on Fox News’s “Wheel of Vengeance.”
And the cherry on top? He’ll call it patriotic.
He’ll wrap it in the flag, slap a bald eagle on it, and tell you it’s for the “real Americans.” You know, the ones who think democracy is a buffet and Trump gets to pick the menu.
Meanwhile, the national debt balloons. The VA is underfunded. Public schools are crumbling. Affordable housing? Healthcare? Clean water? Nah — let’s blow $45 million so a man with more indictments than accomplishments can feel like a king for a day.
It’s not just wasteful. It’s obscene. It’s not just un-American. It’s grotesquely, flamboyantly anti-American — a cult of personality funded by people who can’t afford groceries but still think this man gives a damn about them.
This isn’t a celebration of patriotism. It’s a funeral for common sense.